De que substrato é feita a confiança?

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Quem de nós nunca pensou ou disse “Não confio na pessoa X”? Mas o que quer dizer não confiar ou confiar? Do que é composta a confiança?

A confiança é essencial para construir relações humanas, seja entre líder e liderados, fornecedor e cliente, entre pares, como casal, amigos, sócios e tantas outras.

A importância da confiança

A existência da confiança permite que o indivíduo se revele, fale sobre seus incômodos e suas incertezas, se emocione, se expresse sobre os assuntos que são importantes na sua vida, o contexto em que vive e convive. Possibilita a exposição de crenças e opiniões que ainda não haviam sido explicitados, materiais riquíssimos para um processo de liderança efetivo e transformador.

Tamanha é a importância da confiança que ela acaba fazendo parte de uma das competências-chave que os coaches devem ter segundo a International Coach Federation: “Estabelecer confiança e intimidade ”. Traduz-se na habilidade de criar um ambiente seguro, de apoio que produza respeito e confiança mútuos continuamente. 

Mas afinal, de que substrato é feita a confiança?

Brené Brown, pesquisadora e autora de livros sobre vulnerabilidade (e deste TED imperdível), coragem, vergonha e empatia, afirma que a confiança é construída com pequenas partes e ao longo de muitos momentos. Ela também analisa a sua anatomia, identificando as partes que formam o “corpo” da confiança e utiliza um acrônimo, em inglês: BRAVING. Em português significa enfrentando, encarando, desafiando, a base é o adjetivo “brave”, corajoso, ousado. O desenvolvimento da confiança na relação com outros implica mostrar-se vulnerável. A vulnerabilidade ocorre quando eu coloco nas mãos do outro algo que é importante para mim, e assim corro o risco de ser machucado, magoado, frustrado.

As partes são:

  • Limites (Boundaries): respeito os limites do outro e quando não tenho clareza, pergunto.
  • Confiabilidade (Reliability): faço o que digo que vou fazer, com consciência das minhas competências e limitações para não prometer o que não posso cumprir.
  • Responsabilização (Accountability): assumo meus erros, peço desculpas e reparo os danos.
  • Segredo (Vault): compartilho apenas as minhas informações ou experiências, mantenho a confidencialidade.
  • Integridade (Integrity): escolho coragem em detrimento de conforto; vivencio meus valores.
  • Não-julgamento (Nonjudgement): peço o que precisar e o outro também pede, e falamos sobre o que sentimos sem julgamento.
  • Generosidade (Generosity): faço as mais generosas interpretações possíveis sobre as intenções, palavras e comportamentos dos outros.

Conhecendo esses componentes é possível nos (auto)avaliarmos nas nossas relações. Pedindo melhorias ao outro, explicando qual é a parte que não está boa, ao invés de simplesmente pensar: “Não confio nele ou nela”.

Como você está em cada um desses pontos nas suas relações? 

A autoconfiança é feita deste mesmo substrato: limites, confiabilidade, responsabilização, segredo, integridade, não julgamento e generosidade, aplicado na sua relação com você mesmo.

De que maneira você está cuidando da sua autoconfiança?

Bibliografia:

Marcia Yokota | Consultora Senior Oipé

* Adaptado do texto original publicado na Revista Coaching Brasil, edição 63 e Publicado no Linkedin Pulse da Autora

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